I first and foremost hope you are doing well…truly. You have been kind enough to read my newsletter/posts so far, some of you since I started writing them in 2013. Some of them were cheesy, some were good, some were a bit plain, but they were all part of a learning experience. I remember the anxiety I felt in my stomach the first time I hit “send”, my mind trying to rationalize the fact that I would probably be publicly bashed (I know, dramatic). But I survived, and it has been great ride so far.
However, I’ve always found it hard to go the extra mile, to truly put that fear of being judged aside, and share a more honest view on things, on what was going on. I found it more comfortable to play safe, even though it felt a bit off, much like that feeling of great disappointment when you start something you know will make you feel good, but stop short by fear of [insert your fear here].
My 2016 resolution was to accept to be more vulnerable, which came to me after reading the very thoughtful “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown. One sentence really resonated: “I can honestly say that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous and hurtful as believing that I’m standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.” So this time, and instead of once again only showing the surface of my thoughts, here is what I have to say this month:
My name is Yohan, born Yohann (typo on my birth certificate), I’m almost 30, I’m currently a bit clueless about what my immediate future will look like, I’m in a relationship with acting and we’re working on it the best we can, I have a strong faith I’ll achieve great things yet have no real idea how I’m going to get there, I’m gay and to this day still feel a weight in my chest when talking about it, and finally I’m a little discouraged not to have access to great work in a country that I truly love because I don’t yet possess a Card that is Green. That is what is going on with me today. And it’s not a big deal, it’s just the truth. Because “in the end, you’re sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of nowhere. Things are going to happen anyway. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience.” ;)
Once again, thanks for reading, have the most amazing day ever, much love and happiness to you all, and enough about me. How are you doing? What’s up with you? How’s life? I’d love to hear from you.